Often as I pass the magazines in the check out line this title jumps out at me from various sources. Or we hear it on a talk show, in a sermon, or someone just telling someone else what they need...... It is something I have thought about a lot the last years as God has taken me on a journey to finding what I "really" need.
In my life it comes up more often in the Spring time of the year.... it is Valentine's Day, our Anniversary, Mother's Day, then my Birthday..... it is Very Very easy to start thinking about what I "need" to be happy. If only I would get that romantic gift, if only I would have a birthday party thrown for me this year, if only my children would do this, if only my husband would say these words.....
What really made me think about it lately was a friend who was telling me about the wonderful Mothers day sermon they had. I am not saying it wasn't or downing the thoughts of the Pastor, I have no clue who he is or what church he is from! But she said how he had a list of things women/mothers/wives need. The affirmation they need to be better women. I am in total agreement that affirmation is good :), it happens to be my one of my strong love languages and words stick with me for a very long time......
BUT...... what if we don't get it? What if you are separated/divorced/alone, what if you just don't get it (like we think we should or in the right words)????? Can we not be the woman God wants us to be without this?
God has been hammering in my head for a long time now and I feel like I am finally grasping a tiny piece of what he is saying.... No matter if I do get affirmed, loved, taken care of etc.... it will never be enough. I have to be content and saturated in HIS love. I have to know who I am as a Woman of His.
I have always sort of struggled with the Proverbs 31 woman, I got just a bit ticked at her. I mean, who even wants to work like that? And then as a friend of mine asked years ago in Bible School.... "Why does the woman work like crazy and then the MAN get praised in the gates?" I started a study lately called, Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be from this passage. It's been good, and I see this chapter in a bit different light.
It's given me a longing to quit looking at what I have or what I don't have. To stop comparing and wishing... to even quit feeling guilty because if they start a list of what a man needs, I will fall so short the first hour, my poor husband might as well walk away..... But to continually look at God and what He thinks of me! Not what anyone else is saying or has told me about myself! There is a place for others input in your life and you need to stop and listen. But there are also a lot of lies that people tell you, by their actions and words..... and subconsciously you start believing them and suddenly you realize you are NOT being who God created you to be!
The first verse that I was to memorize in this study was : Who can find a woman of noble character? Her worth is far above rubies. Her husband has complete confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
I have thought on this verse for days and weeks now. It isn't about how much I can do for my husband to make him happy, how hard I can work so he lacks nothing...... I truly believe it all comes back to how rooted and grounded I am in God. The peace I will radiate because I am IN him. And through this...... comes the complete confidence and not lacking anything. AND after that, my needs are met, because I know who I am in Christ. It is God who truly fills all those needs, wants, and desires. The things we get from humans are just extra blessings.
I have a long ways to go, I slip up daily....... but I thank God for keeping on pounding it into my head and heart. Because I am quite sure of one thing..... this is where my true joy comes from. And I can not bless others without that joy.
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